You’re in bed with your man, and things are heating up. After some foreplay and (very) brief clitoral stimulation, he gets ready to enter you. Still, the rhythm builds, it feels good, you tell him to keep going. He does—until he abruptly finishes, rolls over, and that’s it.
You’re left wondering if it even really started.
While it was fireworks for him, you definitely did not reach the big O. You usually do when you masturbate. But during sex, his climax feels like a guarantee, while yours is a rare bonus, if it happens at all.
Does this story sound familiar?
The orgasm gap is real—women have 20–50% fewer orgasms than men during heterosexual encounters. They also report enjoying sex less than their male partners.
To close this gap, sex ed campaigns highlighting the clitoris and its role in women’s pleasure have been on the rise. But has clitoral knowledge actually improved? And do gender norms stop women from using that knowledge in bed? A 2022 Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy study set out to find out.
Why does the orgasm gap persist?
Both women and men can experience orgasm, so biology alone can’t explain the ongoing sexual pleasure divide in heterosexual sex.
Women can even have multiple orgasms without needing a break. They also climax more often when having sex with other women, which researchers suggest is likely due to more activities that involve direct stimulation of the clitoris.
In fact, the clitoris, made of erectile tissue similar to the penis, is primarily designed for pleasure. The visible, pea-sized clitoral glans sits beneath the clitoral hood, while the crura extend up to 9 centimeters inside the body. Although central to female orgasm, the full internal structure of the clitoris wasn’t revealed until 1998, when Australian urologist Helen O’Connell published the first comprehensive anatomical study.
With this time lag, it’s no wonder limited clitoral knowledge is often blamed for gender inequality in orgasm rates. But is that the whole story?
A study by Wade et al. (2005) found that while knowing more about the clitoris increased women’s orgasms during masturbation, it didn’t during partnered sex. This suggests that other factors may block women from fully applying that knowledge with men.
Could gendered sexual scripts be keeping the orgasm gap alive?
Gendered sexual scripts portray men as active, dominant, highly sexual, and orgasm-focused, while casting women as passive, with low desire, and less concern for orgasm. They prioritize male pleasure and reinforce the idea that sex ends when the man orgasms.
Building on Wade’s research, European psychologists Dienberg et al. (2022) explored whether gender norms prevent women from using their clitoral knowledge during partnered sex.
They surveyed 573 heterosexual participants (64% women), who took a quiz testing their understanding of the clitoris. The group’s average age was 28.5, ranging from 18 to 68.
The survey also assessed sexual pleasure, orgasm rates during partnered sex and masturbation, and beliefs about gendered sexual scripts. For instance, participants rated their agreement with statements like, “It is more important for men than women to have an orgasm.”
How gender norms shape clitoral knowledge
The study found that women with greater clitoral knowledge indirectly experienced more pleasure and orgasms during partnered sex. This was because they were less likely to support gendered sexual scripts. Rejecting these cultural norms ultimately led to more satisfying partnered experiences.
In contrast, clitoral knowledge directly increased orgasm rates during masturbation and also indirectly boosted them by reducing belief in restrictive gender roles.
Yet, on average both men and women agreed with gendered sexual scripts about sex and orgasm.
Given the impact of these beliefs, it’s no surprise that women reported significantly lower sexual pleasure and fewer orgasms than men during partnered sex (57% vs. 91%). However, when masturbating, orgasm rates were nearly identical (92% for women vs. 94% for men).
Would you pass the cliteracy quiz?
On average, participants answered about 50% of the quiz questions correctly (4.56 out of 9). Women generally knew more than men, especially about the clitoris’s function and role in orgasm.
“Our results demonstrated that clitoral knowledge is still limited among women and men which in turn influences women’s sexual pleasure,” wrote the authors.
Most participants correctly identified the clitoral glans (84% of women, 79% of men). But only 39% of women and 31% of men knew the full organ’s size. Just over half could identify a diagram of a vulva, while one in five knew the clitoris has a foreskin, glans, and shaft. The majority (women 85%, men 84%) understood that the clitoris becomes erect during sexual arousal.
A striking gender difference emerged when participants were asked about the most reliable sexual practice for female orgasm. In total, 80% of women, compared to 57% of men, correctly identified it as oral sex, rather than penile-vaginal penetration or anal sex.
More than half of women recognized the clitoris exists exclusively for pleasure, but only 39% of men got this right. A lower percentage knew the clitoris is involved in every orgasm (women 27%, men 17%). However, only about one in four recognized it’s false that orgasms are either clitoral or vaginal.
Cliteracy alone won’t close the orgasm gap
We’re told the female orgasm is elusive—but when women take matters into their own hands, it’s a different story.
Despite growing conversations about the clitoris, knowledge remains limited and the orgasm gap persists. While knowing more about the clitoris enhances women’s pleasure during masturbation, it’s not enough in partnered sex. The real barrier? Gendered sexual scripts that continue to undermine women’s satisfaction.
That lesbian women have more orgasms than heterosexual women highlights the need to research clitoral knowledge and gendered sexual scripts in diverse groups. Studies exploring body image, cultural beliefs about penetrative sex, and the influence of media and pornography could also offer valuable insights.
Remember, simply knowing more about the clitoris isn’t enough to guarantee better outcomes in bed. Real progress also requires a cultural shift that prioritizes women’s pleasure as much as men’s.
