How People Discover and Explore BDSM

The world of BDSM—Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism—has caught both public and academic interest. 

For a historically understudied and marginalized topic, that’s particularly good news.  

Published in The Journal of Sex Research, a large-scale international study reveals the diverse pathways and demographic trends of BDSM practitioners through various stages of exploration. 

The study 

Researchers set out to understand how individuals first discovered BDSM and their journeys to engaging in it regularly. Using a 102-question survey, they tracked participants’ age of onset and progression over time through the following stages: 

1. Learned about BDSM. 

2. Developed interest in BDSM (i.e., fantasized about). 

3. Participated privately in BDSM. 

4. Participated publicly in BDSM. 

Through descriptive and multiple regression analyses, researchers also uncovered trends on practitioners’ evolving exploration. 

The participants 

In total, 810 adults from 43 countries completed the survey, most of whom were based in the United States, (62%), Canada (14%), or the United Kingdom (8%).  

Averaging 39.6 years old, their ages ranged from 18 to 80. Ages were grouped into generational categories: Baby Boomer (13%), Generation X (27%), Millennial (44%), and Generation Z (17%). 

Participants were 50% women, 36% men, 9% genderqueer, and 5% identified as other genders.

Participants were mainly recruited through FetLife, a BDSM/Kink/Fetish social network. The survey was also shared by sexuality research groups, BDSM organizations, and other sex-focused communities. 

Discovering BDSM 

Unlike previous beliefs that media or pornography are the main introducers to BDSM, this study showed that people—such as partners or friends—are more common sources of initiation. 

The findings revealed that: 

• 62% discovered BDSM on their own. 
• 22% were introduced by a partner.  
• 14% by a friend.  
• 6% by the Internet. 
• 3% by books.  
• 2% by family members.   
• 1% by TV or movies.  

Researchers found that a person’s source of introduction is often tied to the age of first exploring BDSM, reasons for participation, and partner choice.   

For example, participants who discovered BDSM on their own were generally younger when they first learned about it, became interested, and started participating in both private and public settings.  

They were also more likely to focus on sexual exploration and participate alone. 

On the other hand, those introduced by a partner were usually older when they first learned about and became interested in BDSM. They also tended to cite personal growth as a motivation for practicing.  

Participants who came across BDSM through the Internet were younger when they first developed an interest in it. 

Age and BDSM participation  

The study identified key milestones and patterns in participants’ journeys across the four BDSM stages. 

• For many, entering and exploring BDSM gradually took place over years.  
• On average, respondents first became aware of BDSM at 18, with a standard deviation (SD) of 8.5 years. 
• Interest in BDSM, such as fantasizing about it, typically developed a couple of years later at about 20 (SD = 9.8). 
• Moving from interest to private participation in BDSM took another few years, with the first private experience at an average age of 24 (SD = 10.4). 
• Public participation in BDSM started later, at around 30 years old (SD = 10.8). 
• 41% of respondents had never participated in BDSM in public settings, and 2% had never participated either privately or publicly, only fantasized about it. 

When grouping respondents by age, the study found that: 

• Over 60% had learned about BDSM before turning 18. 
• Nearly one-quarter (24%) had their first private BDSM experience as a minor. 
• Almost 8% did not become aware of BDSM until they were older than 30. 
• 22% had not participated in BDSM privately and 40% had not done so publicly until after the age of 30. 

Demographic trends 

The study used multiple regression analyses to see if demographic factors and BDSM-related traits could predict the age of entry into the four stages.  

The findings can be summarized as follows: 

• Early learners: People with sexual orientations other than heterosexual, Canadians, members of Generation Z, and those with more years of BDSM experience learned about BDSM at a younger age compared to their counterparts. 
• Later discovery: Individuals who identify with dominant roles in BDSM relationships and those with higher personal incomes tended to learn about BDSM at an older age. 
• Average ages: The average age of developing an interest in BDSM was lower for non-cisgender individuals, Canadians, people of color (POC), members of Generation Z, and those with more years of BDSM experience. 
• Private participation: When it came to first participating in BDSM privately, women, transgender individuals, non-cisgender people, pansexuals, those with other sexual orientations, Canadians, people from the “Rest of the World” (not Canadian, British, or American), POC, Generation Z members, and those with more BDSM experience were generally younger. In contrast, those identifying with dominant BDSM roles were older. 
• Public participation: Non-cisgender individuals, POC, and Generation Z members were younger when they started participating in BDSM publicly. 

Just getting started 

This treasure trove study provides much-needed insights into the realm of BDSM.  

It maps out practitioners’ evolving journeys through discovery, desire, and exploration, including how different pathways into BDSM influence participation. It also uncovers demographic trends related to age, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and role choice.  

These findings add to a growing body of research that offers a more nuanced understanding of the BDSM community. For a group that is often misrepresented, this greater visibility contributes to a more inclusive view of human sexual expression. 

Study lead Bryce Westlake, Ph.D., was most intrigued by “the big difference between those who participate privately and publicly compared to those who participate only in private.”

“This was one of the most important variables and really points to there being (at least) two distinct groups of BDSM practitioners. This is important because how future researchers recruit participants could significantly impact the results, which could lead to a lot of confusing or contradictory findings,” he said.

Stay tuned for part two, where le Shaw will unveil further insights from the study on BDSM activities.