After a particularly deep conversation about fantasies, your partner revealed a desire they’d been holding onto—pegging. At first, they were a bit nervous about sharing. But instead of dismissing it, you got curious too. You spent a few nights researching together—watching videos, reading blogs, listening to podcasts, and giggling at how many “How to Peg 101” guides actually exist.
The first time? You went slow. Lots of communication, checking in, and plenty of adjusting (and lube) so it was all about comfort and pleasure. And when you finally took control, just wow. Being the penetrating partner was beyond empowering. It was a whole new level of intimacy.
You never expected the rush of connection and ecstasy from it. Who knew switching roles could be this amazing?
These pegging experiences are explored in “It’s Absolutely Intense, and I Love It!” A Qualitative Investigation of Pegging as Leisure” by Dr. D.J. Williams, Lynnette Coto Ph.D., and Dana Berkowitz Ph.D. They delve into the pleasure of pegging—when a woman penetrates a man anally with a strap-on—and how it can be a form of sexual leisure.
Pegging can boost communication, mutual pleasure, and even relationship growth for couples willing to explore outside (or inside) the box.
Pegging as leisure
Pegging isn’t simply strapping on a toy. It’s when a female partner penetrates a man anally, typically with a strap-on—but other toys or objects work, too. It flips the gender script on traditional heterosexual anal sex—where a guy usually penetrates a lady. With pegging, the roles are reversed.
In traditional anal sex for straight folks, research focuses on male-identifying partners penetrating their female-identifying partners. But pegging? This is all about women taking the lead and exploring new dynamics. And it’s not as rare as you might think. Even though pegging still carries a bit of taboo, it’s finding its way more into conversations and bedroom routines.
It turns out pegging isn’t just about sex—it can be a form of leisure too. Leisure is all about doing something you want to, not because you have to. It’s fun, stimulating, and a shared experience for couples. Pegging can fit perfectly here, giving folks sensory stimulation, playfulness, and even a little workout. Whether it’s a casual, playful experience or a more involved activity that builds trust and communication, pegging is a novel way to connect and explore together.
Interviewing kinksters
The researchers recruited participants from their networks within the BDSM and kink communities. To qualify, they had to do pegging as a regular part of their sex life. The study included 17 people—10 women (one trans woman), 7 men, and one non-binary person, ranging in age from 21-67. Most identified as white, though a few were biracial and or Black. Education levels ranged from some college to doctorate.
Throughout the interviews, the participants were asked questions like, “What contributed to your interest in pegging?” and “Describe a particularly memorable pegging experience.” The interviews lasted about an hour. To understand the data, they looked for common themes, such as how pegging functioned as leisure, identifying terms like “fun,” “pleasure,” and “play.”
Pleasure & Connection
Pegging isn’t simply role reversal—it’s about discovering intense pleasure and even deeper connections with your partner. And the participants were not shy about sharing just how mind-blowing their experiences were. From physical ecstasy to emotional intimacy, pegging brought a mix of sensations and relationship growth.
The physical thrill and mutual pleasure
Pegging wasn’t just good—it was next level. As Jake put it, “The physical sensations I found to be extremely enjoyable.” And the women penetrating their partners discovered a unique thrill with Pam sharing, “There have been times where I’ve been able to climax while pegging.”
But it wasn’t just about one person’s satisfaction. For most, pegging became an opportunity to share mutual pleasure. “Watching him get pleasure anally and being able to ejaculate with all that going on was very sexy, and I enjoyed it a lot,” said Bonita. Couples were excited to find new ways of giving and receiving, creating a more playful and open dynamic in their sex lives. As Katia said, “I loved having that power over him, but at the same time, being very gentle and making sure he was enjoying it as much as I was.”
Relationship growth and community
Pegging sparked deeper intimacy and trust. Couples found themselves communicating more openly and building stronger connections. Jackie explained, “There’s so much more intimacy. It allowed us to open up with each other and not feel like we’re going to get judged.” Pegging became more than just a sexual experience—it was a way to strengthen their relationship and create new layers of trust.
For some, it wasn’t just about their romantic partner but connecting with a larger community. Shelley mentioned how they used FetLife (a social media site for alternative sexualities) to find like-minded folks. Community connections provided space to learn, share stories, and even find partners who were interested in exploring pegging together.
Casual leisure with a dash of serious
While pegging might sound like all playful eroticism, it does have elements of what researchers call “serious leisure”—a type of activity that takes effort, and practice, and brings long-term rewards. Peggers often mentioned the physical demands and learning curve. Jackie shared, “It’s a major workout. It works muscles you never knew you’d work out during sex.” They also talked about the skills they developed and the need for planning, especially to ensure comfort and safety.
Overall, the study found that pegging is primarily a form of casual leisure—like playing or relaxing—but with a sexy twist. Sensory pleasure, active entertainment, and playful exploration all fit into what the research team calls “casual leisure”. But there were moments of serious effort, like learning new techniques or figuring out the right toys.
It was an adventurous way to spice up relationships, explore new power dynamics, and build intimacy.
Pegging research
This study wasn’t without its challenges and limitations. For starters, the sample size was small, with just 17 participants—mostly white and located on the Pacific Coast (USA). The authors acknowledge, that “future research would benefit from a more racially and ethnically diverse sample,” as well as folks from different regions and backgrounds.
And, pegging is still considered a bit taboo, even among people with alternative sexual preferences. The scholars recognize that participants may have held back or been selective in what they shared due to concerns about judgment or privacy.
Dr. D.J. Williams and colleagues recommend expanding the study to explore how pegging might influence overall health and well-being. They emphasize the World Health Organization’s view that sexual health isn’t just about the absence of disease but includes “quality of life, happiness, personal satisfaction, and well-being.” So, knowing pegging’s impact on these areas could be valuable to explore in future studies.
Curious about pegging?
Couples who try this bedroom activity do so with a lot of trust, an open mind, and open conversations. So how do you start a chat with your partner? You can do a light, playful approach: “I read something interesting today—ever thought about role reversal during sex?” or “What do you think about trying something a little less mainstream in the bedroom?”
If you’re the one interested in being pegged, try, “I love it when you play with my butt during playtime, how would you feel about penetrating me?” or “I want to experiment more with anal penetration, would that turn you on?” Then, most importantly, research together!
Couples shared that watching videos, reading blogs, and exploring sites like FetLife helped them feel more comfortable and prepared. Go slow and check in with each other. As one participant quipped, “It’s nice to just lay back and be lazy and get f**ed.” Make it all about comfort, consent, and curiosity.
The bottom line: Even if pegging isn’t your jam, it can spark important conversations. And you now have some next-level knowledge to explore this sextivity.
