Fatphobia—discrimination against people with heavier bodies—doesn’t just harm individuals who are bigger, it also affects their partners.
Published in The Journal of Sex Research, a thought-provoking investigation explores the experiences and external perceptions of thin individuals in mixed-weight couples. It reveals how stigma by association manifests and influences relationship and sexual satisfaction.
Uncovering fat stigma by association
Following the conventions of fat studies, the authors deliberately chose to use “fat” and “fatness” instead of medical terms such as “obesity” and “overweight.”
The approach reflects a conscious effort to challenge fat stigma: negative bias and discrimination against individuals with larger body sizes. This prejudice is based on the belief that being fat is undesirable and is often associated with negative stereotypes, such as laziness, lack of self-discipline, and unattractiveness.
To explore the repercussions of fat stigma more deeply, researchers carried out two studies to discover how it affects non-fat partners in mixed-weight couples.
Study 1: Relationship wellbeing and insights from thin partners
The first study examined thin partners’ experiences of stigma and how they influenced relationship wellbeing.
Of the 66 total participants, most (75%) were in relationships that were both sexual and romantic. About 16% had romantic-only relationships, and 9% had sexual-only relationships.
Experiences of fat stigma by association
About half of the participants (49%) reported experiencing at least one form of associative stigma because of their relationship with a fat person. Notably, a few participants (6%) gave contradictory responses, saying they felt no difference but also cited negative comments from family.
The most common perceived stigma experiences reported were:
- Others viewed the fat partner as inferior (20%).
- Weight-based microaggressions (20%).
- Negative attention in public (18%).
- Judging or restricting sexuality (11%).
- Family disapproval (11%).
- Seeking other explanations for the relationship (11%).
- Verbal harassment (7%).
- Attention to relationship dynamic (7%).
Relationship and sexual satisfaction
Participants showed high empathy toward their fat partners, especially men toward their mostly female partners, with low levels of resentment.
Feeling judged because of being with a fat partner could make someone less satisfied with their relationship. However, relationship and sexual satisfaction levels were generally high among participants.
In fact, the study revealed fat stigma by association didn’t impact sexual satisfaction. Being judged because one’s partner is fat also didn’t significantly change relationship satisfaction.
Yet feeling more judged about the relationship itself lowered relationship satisfaction.
These results suggest that the perception of being judged for their mixed-weight relationship, rather than experiencing stigma by association, diminishes relationship satisfaction.
Assumed perceptions by others
Participants also shared how they think others perceive them because of their relationship with a fat partner.
Over three-quarters (76%) believed others made negative assumptions about them based on their partner’s weight.
Most common assumptions included:
- Settling for less or having no other options (32%)
- No perceived difference (30%)
- Attraction to fat people seen as a preference (20%).
Study 2: Experimental study of external observers
The second study explored how outsiders perceived thin individuals in relationships with fat partners. Nearly 600 participants were assigned different stories to read about couples that were either mixed-weight (with one fat and one thin partner) or both thin.
Despite expectations they would view thin partners more negatively, findings varied:
- Closeness & Liking: Participants felt no less closeness or liking toward thin individuals in mixed-weight relationships compared to those in same-weight relationships.
- Warmth & Competence: Thin partners of fat individuals were perceived as warmer but less competent than those in same-weight relationships.
- Associative Stigma: There was no greater blame assigned to thin individuals in mixed-weight relationships for their partner’s weight. However, they did receive more negative emotional responses (such as pity, dislike, anger) and were more likely to be offered help.
- Influence of Sexual Orientation: Sexual minorities showed more positive attitudes toward thin partners in mixed-weight relationships than heterosexual participants.
Sexual liberation and fat acceptance
Fatphobia can undermine the wellbeing of mixed-weight couples.
These studies highlight how thin individuals face negative judgments due to relationships with fat partners. This stigma was evident in various social interactions, from overt discrimination to subtle microaggressions.
Yet contrary to stereotypes viewing relationships with fat individuals as less satisfying, thin partners reported high levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction. This suggests that compatibility and personal connection outweigh societal biases.
The researchers call for further investigation into the interplay between fatness, other marginalized identities, and the role of ethnic backgrounds in shaping perceptions of fatness and stigma by association.
Exploring these topics is critical for paving the way toward the sexual liberation of fat individuals. It will also mark a step forward in challenging and changing societal norms around body size and relationships.
Featured Image Source: Unsplash/AllGo – An App For Plus Size People)
