Tourism marketers often promote the sex appeal of travel – especially for couples – emphasizing escape, relaxation, and reconnection. But does a vacation really help re-ignite the flame?
Authored by John K. Coffrey Ph.D. and colleagues, “Couples Vacations and Romantic Passion and Intimacy” examines these #travelgoals.
Published in the Annals of Tourism Research Empirical Insights, they explore how novel and interesting vacation activities can deepen romantic passion, physical intimacy, and relationship satisfaction among couples.
A hint: it’s less about the destination and more about the journey.
Self-Expansion Activities
Simply put, self-expansion is the idea that people naturally seek to grow and enhance themselves through new, challenging, and exciting experiences. When these experiences are transformed into activities a couple can do together, they will grow and strengthen their relationship.
Self-expanding activities can be anything from “learning something new with a partner” to “participating in adventurous, exciting, playful, sexual, romantic, and spontaneous activities.”
When couples do activities, like trying new foods, exploring unfamiliar locations, or tackling physical challenges together, they feel more satisfied. According to the researchers, these “novel, interesting, and challenging vacation experiences” are crucial for maintaining and increasing the quality of your intimate relationships.
Without activities, vacations can quickly become routine and uninspiring. Simply lounging around can lead to a lack of playfulness and excitement. By skipping out on activities, couples miss out on these opportunities – potentially leading to a loss of intimacy and connection.
How Do Couples Feel Post-Vacation?
The present study builds on previous research, such as the work by Hatfield and Sprecher (1986) on passionate love and more recent findings by Muise et al. (2019) on self-expansion promoting desire and satisfaction in relationships. The researchers conducted two studies to explore how self-expanding activities affect couples’ post-vacation.
Study 1 focused on individual experiences, finding that those who did novel activities alone still reported higher romantic passion. On the other hand, Study 2 emphasized shared experiences, showing that couples who tackle new challenges enjoy more physical intimacy and overall relationship satisfaction.
Study 1: Individual Experiences of Self-Expansion
In the first study, 238 US-based participants aged 18 or older were recruited online. These participants had to be living with their romantic partner and have had a vacation within the past year.
The participants were mostly female, ages 18 and 54, with a 1–5-year relationship (43.7%) and a 4-year college degree (54.3%).
They were asked to recall their most recent vacation and evaluate their romantic relationship quality. The participants answered questions like, “How connected do you feel to your partner?” and “How happy are you with your partner?” using a 7-point Likert scale. They also reported on self-expanding experience items, like “This vacation was exciting.”
The study confirmed that participants who had more novel, interesting, and challenging activities during their vacations reported higher levels of romantic passion and relationship satisfaction after returning home. These benefits were significant for those who traveled with their partners.
Study 2: Shared Experiences of Self-Expansion
The second study involved 102 romantic couples, or 204 participants in total. This allowed researchers to explore how shared self-expanding vacation experiences impact relationship quality. Participants had to be in a committed, cohabitating relationship of at least one year, with no children living at home, and have taken at least two vacations together in the past year.
There was an equal gender distribution (50% male; 50% female), with the majority being married or partnered (76.5%), with a similar age range and education level to Study 1. Relationship length varied, with most couples being together for 1-5 years (42.4%).
Participants rated their physical intimacy with statements, like “We had sex” and “We showed affection by kissing, touching, or holding hands,” using a sliding scale from 0 (Never or Rarely) to 100 (Almost all the time). They also examined items, such as “We did things that were a little daring” and “We tasted new food.”
The researchers confirmed that couples who did things together – exploring new places, trying new activities, and facing challenges – reported greater physical intimacy after their vacations. This included more frequent and affectionate behavior, such as kissing and sex.
What can you learn from this research?
Tourism marketing is phenomenal at promoting idealistic romantic visuals – candlelit dinners, couples’ massages on the beach, and clinking wine glasses in a hot tub. However, these traditional tropes often miss the mark when it comes to promoting self-expansion activities that will truly strengthen your relationship’s bond.
Instead, plan vacations that combine leisure and adventure, catering to both your interests and comfort levels. Reduce your stress by planning ahead and using resources that offer a variety of activities. Adventures like zip-lining, kayaking, culinary classes, and cultural tours provide opportunities to try new things together and grow closer.
The research suggests that vacations can significantly enhance your relationship despite the potential for stress and chaos.
Choose Novelty and Excitement: To maximize the benefits of your vacation, including activities that are new, exciting, and a bit challenging. This could be anything from trying out a new food, exploring a new city, or doing an adventurous activity like hiking or water sports.
Create Shared Memories: Shared experiences create shared memories. Traveling together allows you both to share and boost each other’s experiences. You can create a sense of togetherness and mutual pleasure by doing activities you both enjoy like pottery classes, dance lessons, or exploring cultural sites.
Plan Multiple Vacations: While the number of vacations did not directly increase intimacy, having more activity opportunities can help encourage a positive relationship. Couples who vacationed regularly and shared more experiences had better sex and satisfaction post-vacation.
Next time you plan a couple’s getaway, remember it’s not just about the destination, but the adventures you share together.
