Yes, a lot of sex workers are in relationships, and yes, their partners know.
“Challenges and Benefits of Disclosure of Sex Work to Intimate Partners” examines the dynamics between Canadian sex workers and their intimate partners. Dr. Mikael Jansson and colleagues explore the partner’s reactions, if and when the sex worker discloses their occupation.
What is the primary motivation for sharing their sex work? Honesty.
As one participant, Tasha, expressed, she never has “non-paid sex with anybody without letting them know that I’m a sex worker because I think they should be informed.”
Published in The Journal of Sex Research, this study looks into the balancing act sex workers perform to maintain their intimate relationships – emphasizing the importance of reducing stigma around what many call ‘the world’s oldest profession’.
A Stigmatized Profession
The stigma around sex work is well-ingrained in society, affecting every aspect of sex workers’ lives, including their intimate relationships. Many sex workers in the study reported that most people would think less of them because of their occupation. This stigma can lead to significant emotional and psychological strain. It’s like living a double life and according to one participant, “It’s really, really hard covering up your tracks all the time.”
Sex workers face formidable social and legal barriers, contributing to marginalization. Canadian Laws criminalize several aspects of sex work, reinforcing societal stigma. These laws make it illegal to purchase sexual services, receive material benefits from prostitution, or advertise sexual services. They are pushing sex workers deeper into the shadows and perpetuating their exile from society.
To change the stigma around sex work, we must first understand it, as it impacts not only the sex workers’ intimate relationships but also their overall well-being.
Interviewing Sex Workers
Recruitment took place across six Canadian metropolitan areas. They used methods like snowball sampling, key informant sampling, and targeted sampling to gather participants.
Snowball Sampling: They use identified and recruited participants called “seeds” to refer to other individuals who meet the criteria. This is useful for studying hard-to-reach populations.
Key Informant Sampling: They selected individuals familiar with the community, such as those from outreach agencies and health centers, to help the researchers across potential participants and guide the recruitment process.
Targeted Sampling: The researchers used strategic methods like identifying areas and contexts where potential participants are likely found. For instance, a researcher might visit escort services, post advertisements in health centers, or use online platforms frequented by sex workers.
The researchers gathered a sample of 218 participants, aged 19 to 61 with a mean age of 34. On average, they began sex work at age 24, with 28% starting before age 19. In terms of gender identity, 76% identified as ciswomen, 17% as cismen, and 7% identified as others.
This mixed-method study involved closed-ended questionnaires (quantitative) and open-ended interviews (qualitative).
The quantitative portion included a structured survey with questions about:
- Demographic details
- Perceived stigma
- Resilience
- Other relevant factors
The qualitative interviews were conducted in locations chosen by the participants, including their homes or public spaces like coffee shops. They received a CAD 60 compensation for their time.
Sex Worker Intimate Relationships
Dr. Jansson and colleagues found that a significant majority of sex workers, with 151 out of 183 participants chose to disclose their occupation to their intimate partners. Disclosing their work was met with negative and positive reactions from their partners.
Negative Reactions
Some participants experienced adverse consequences, such as jealousy, relationship breakdowns, and even violence.
Jealousy: Many partners struggle to separate the professional aspects of sex work from the personal aspects of their relationships. Lori shared that her partner couldn’t distinguish between her clients and him, “He felt I was cheating on him every time.”
Emotional Distress: Denise mentioned that her partner was emotionally devastated by her work, stating “He does not like me working, he hates it in fact. It emotionally cripples him.” This emotional turmoil often led to pressure to leave the industry, creating additional stress and conflict within the relationship.
Violence: This was a severe consequence faced by some of the participants. One participant, Roxanne recounted an experience where her partner told her “If I ever found out that you’re doing anything sexually, I will kill you.” Similarly, Erika feared her partner would physically harm her if he knew about her work, claiming “he would probably beat me.”
Positive Reactions
While many sex workers faced negative reactions, some experienced positive ones. For them, the initial challenge of disclosure ultimately benefited their relationships.
Understanding: Bobby shared that her partner didn’t necessarily like her job but understood why she did it, which was crucial in maintaining their stable and supportive relationship.
Trust and Honesty: One participant found that revealing her work before becoming romantically involved helped build trust and honesty. She noted that this honesty “brought us closer together and allowed us to remain a part of the relationship.”
Safety: Paulette shared that telling her partner allowed them to act as a safety measure during her work. She explained, “He’s in the [other] room; he’s my spotter.” Further, it “doesn’t bother him because he’s there; he knows what’s happening.”
Strengthened Communication: One participant claimed being honest about their work strengthened their relationship’s bond and improved their communication. This openness allowed for a more authentic and supportive relationship.
Supporting Sex Workers
Dr. Jansson and the research team had several recommendations to support sex workers and disclosure to intimate partners, emphasizing the importance of reducing societal stigma and providing personal and community-level support.
Societal stigma often exacerbates the negative reactions sex workers face when sharing their occupations. Anti-stigma interventions that promote understanding and acceptance are important. The researchers point out the need for public education campaigns to change societal perceptions of sex work. Furthermore, access to counseling services aimed at supporting sex workers’ intimate relationships. These services should be designed to help them, and their partners navigate disclosure, manage jealousy, and improve communication.
Additionally, the researchers propose implementing policies and programs that empower sex workers at the community level. These programs should include peer support groups where sex workers can share their experiences and strategies for more successful disclosures. They could also provide resources and advocacy to help sex workers build stronger, more supportive networks.
Lastly, they recommend legal reforms that decriminalize sex work and protect the rights of sex workers. Such changes can help reduce societal stigma and provide a safer, more supportive environment for them to share their profession. The researchers pointed to the benefits seen in places like New Zealand, where decriminalization has led to reduced stigma and better working conditions for sex workers.
Ultimately all individuals deserve healthy, respectful, and loving intimate relationships, no matter their career path. This includes sex workers.
